The Uncommonwealth

Somewhere our manchild governator is quivering in his Milton manse, curled in a fetal position and sucking his thumb, sobbing after he reads the 15th consecutive column in the Globe calling him an overmatched wanker.

Since Diane Dukakis, I mean, Patrick, is incapacitated, does this mean we get back a rebate on her $72,000 appointment secretary? Prorated, at least. Pass the Listerine!