Monday, August 14, 2006
Why We Love the NYT
There's nothing we love more than when a NY Times reporter is frog-marched out into Red America and forced to report back with a dispatch from flyover country. These accounts always have the ring of an anthropological expedition into darkest Africa during the Boer Wars. Or the Bore Wars.
Here, crack "media & advertising" reporter Stuart Elliot ventures across the Hudson and files these urgent dispatches:
They have Starbucks in Atlanta now.
In some strip malls, they have both a Starbucks AND a Dunkin' Donuts.
Some hotels have replaced Breck shampoo and Ivory soap with such exotic ingredients as "citrus." Even in Indiana (!).
McDonald's sells iced coffee.
Some hotels in Florida have wifi. So do some Denny's. (How will jaded Manhattanites distinguish themselves now! Oh, the pain.)
Gas stations have different prices. Let the record show, however, that Stuart Elliot's ride demands PREMIUM.
Churches in the South have billboards (shudder). Run away!
And here, rather abruptly, Stuart Elliot's piece ends, as he presumably fled back to the island where Starbucks and Dunkin' Donuts shall never compete head-to-head, coffee shall only be drunk scaldingly hot and those pesky churches know their place.
Here, crack "media & advertising" reporter Stuart Elliot ventures across the Hudson and files these urgent dispatches:
They have Starbucks in Atlanta now.
In some strip malls, they have both a Starbucks AND a Dunkin' Donuts.
Some hotels have replaced Breck shampoo and Ivory soap with such exotic ingredients as "citrus." Even in Indiana (!).
McDonald's sells iced coffee.
Some hotels in Florida have wifi. So do some Denny's. (How will jaded Manhattanites distinguish themselves now! Oh, the pain.)
Gas stations have different prices. Let the record show, however, that Stuart Elliot's ride demands PREMIUM.
Churches in the South have billboards (shudder). Run away!
And here, rather abruptly, Stuart Elliot's piece ends, as he presumably fled back to the island where Starbucks and Dunkin' Donuts shall never compete head-to-head, coffee shall only be drunk scaldingly hot and those pesky churches know their place.
