The Uncommonwealth

Thanks to time-serving Massachusetts Democratic Party hack Phil Johnston for pointing our attention to this amusing send-up:

2004 DNC Convention Official Program


6:00pm - Opening flag burning ceremony.

6:00pm - Opening secular prayers by Rev. Jesse Jackson and Rev. Al Sharpton

6:30pm - Anti-war concert by Barbra Streisand.

6:40pm - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

7:00pm - Tribute theme to France.

7:10pm - Collect offerings for al-Zawahri defense fund.

7:25pm - Tribute theme to Germany.

7:45pm - Anti-war rally (Moderated by Michael Moore) 8:25pm - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

8:30pm - Terrorist appeasement workshop.

9:00pm - Gay marriage ceremony (both male and female couples)

9:30pm - * Intermission *

10:00pm - Posting the Iraqi Colors by Sean Penn and Tim Robbins

10:10pm - Re-enactment of Kerry's fake medal toss.

10:20pm - Cameo by Dean 'Yeeearrrrrrrg!'

10:30pm - Abortion demonstration by N.A.R.A.L.

10:40pm - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

10:50pm - Pledge of allegiance to the UN.

11:00pm - Multiple gay marriage cermony (threesomes, mixed and same sex).

11:15PM - Maximizing Welfare workshop.

11:30pm - 'Free Saddam' pep rally.

11:59PM - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

12:00pm - Nomination of democratic candidate.

12:01 p.m. - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

12:30 p.m. - Ted Kennedy reenacts Chappaquiddick hijinx; drives Oldsmobile off Zakim Bridge into Charles River.