Sunday, October 26, 2003
Odds on Grady gone by noon Monday?
People who are basically the same people
We have a new category in "The Uncommonwealth" today:
We're not talking "Separated at Birth" look-a-likes, folks. This is about people who look, sound and act alike, share similar world views, and basically are interchangeable.
Our first roster:
Air-headed, promiscuously inebriated hotel heiress Paris Hilton and air-headed, promiscuously inebriated B-movie actress Tara Reid
Self-consciously flamboyant, borderline basketball talent-turned-NBA-analyst Tom Tolbert and self-consciously-flamboyant, Sacramento Kings back-up Scott Pollard
Local kitschy furniture mavens Bernie & Phyl and local kitschy Columbo yogurt mavens Mr. and Mrs. Colombosian.
Nagging question: Why isn't it called Colombosian yogurt?
We're not talking "Separated at Birth" look-a-likes, folks. This is about people who look, sound and act alike, share similar world views, and basically are interchangeable.
Our first roster:
Air-headed, promiscuously inebriated hotel heiress Paris Hilton and air-headed, promiscuously inebriated B-movie actress Tara Reid
Self-consciously flamboyant, borderline basketball talent-turned-NBA-analyst Tom Tolbert and self-consciously-flamboyant, Sacramento Kings back-up Scott Pollard
Local kitschy furniture mavens Bernie & Phyl and local kitschy Columbo yogurt mavens Mr. and Mrs. Colombosian.
Nagging question: Why isn't it called Colombosian yogurt?
Wednesday, October 22, 2003
Actual dialogue from tonight's Celtics telecast
Mike Gorman: "In your opinion, what does Raef LaFrentz bring to this team?"
Danny Ainge: "To me, Raef LaFrentz is a basketball player."
Danny Ainge: "To me, Raef LaFrentz is a basketball player."
Tuesday, October 21, 2003
Boy, is he in for a rude awakening
Mavs' coach Don Nelson on newly-acquired ballhog and notorious chucker Antoine Walker:
"There's plenty of balls to go around if [Walker] is willing to pass -- and I think he is. If he wants to shoot all those threes, there won't be enough balls. We're not going to keep him out there shooting eight threes a game."
Fascinating to see how Nellie, Steve Nash, Nowitzky & Co. respond the first (and 20th, and 50th) time Antoine grabs a rebound and heads upcourt on one of his patented one-on-four excursions to nowhere. This is going to be the classic trade that makes both teams worse.
"There's plenty of balls to go around if [Walker] is willing to pass -- and I think he is. If he wants to shoot all those threes, there won't be enough balls. We're not going to keep him out there shooting eight threes a game."
Fascinating to see how Nellie, Steve Nash, Nowitzky & Co. respond the first (and 20th, and 50th) time Antoine grabs a rebound and heads upcourt on one of his patented one-on-four excursions to nowhere. This is going to be the classic trade that makes both teams worse.
Monday, October 20, 2003
Kobe unplugged
Inspirational thoughts from Laker guard and accused rapist Kobe Bryant, who apparently has been moonlighting as a Hallmark greeting card writer:
"Every storm has to end. The sunshine is a rainbow after every storm, so you just go along with it."
Bryant then turned to his matryred wife, Joumana Kidd, and burst into a soulful rendition of the 1963 Lesley Gore standard:
"Sunshine, lollipops and rainbows,
Everything that's wonderful is what I feel when we're together,
Brighter than a lucky penny,
When you're near the rain cloud disappears, dear,
And I feel so fine just to know that you are mine.
My life is sunshine, lollipops and rainbows,
That's how this refrain goes, so come on, join in everybody!"
"Every storm has to end. The sunshine is a rainbow after every storm, so you just go along with it."
Bryant then turned to his matryred wife, Joumana Kidd, and burst into a soulful rendition of the 1963 Lesley Gore standard:
"Sunshine, lollipops and rainbows,
Everything that's wonderful is what I feel when we're together,
Brighter than a lucky penny,
When you're near the rain cloud disappears, dear,
And I feel so fine just to know that you are mine.
My life is sunshine, lollipops and rainbows,
That's how this refrain goes, so come on, join in everybody!"
Wednesday, October 15, 2003
Gaaa!
Well this is great. I will be on a flight from Boston to Chicago during the bulk of... (trumpets please) Game Seven. Pedro vs. Roger. Athens vs. Sparta. USA vs. USSR. Coke Classic vs. New Coke. Bud vs. Bud Lite.
Solons rename Taxpayers' Tunnel
Panel defies Romney on naming of tunnel
By Yvonne Abraham and Mac Daniel, Globe Staff, 10/15/2003
A key legislative panel voted yesterday to name the main tunnel of the Central Artery project after the late US House Speaker Thomas P. "Tip" O'Neill Jr., defying the wishes of Governor Mitt Romney.
By Yvonne Abraham and Mac Daniel, Globe Staff, 10/15/2003
A key legislative panel voted yesterday to name the main tunnel of the Central Artery project after the late US House Speaker Thomas P. "Tip" O'Neill Jr., defying the wishes of Governor Mitt Romney.
Tuesday, October 14, 2003
Nomie Garcia-strikeout
Unlovable rogues' gallery
BOSTON (AP) - Former House speaker Charles Flaherty took the podium one more time Monday for a clandestine unveiling of his official photograph that will hang beside those of his predecessors.
Flaherty resigned as speaker in 1996 after pleading guilty to a felony tax evasion charge. He served in the House for three decades and as speaker for five years.
"I relished every bit," Flaherty said Monday from the podium, as his successor, House Speaker Thomas Finneran, sat behind him. "I'll always be grateful for that opportunity to influence so many things in such a positive way."
The low-key ceremony was held on Columbus Day, a state holiday, when few people were in the Statehouse. Finneran's office did not notify the press or public that it was taking place.
During his speech to about hundred friends and family members, Flaherty said he wanted the event to be low-key.
In attendance were an array of luminaries from Massachusetts' past, including former Senate President and University of Massachusetts President William Bulger and former state Treasurer Robert Crane.
Flaherty resigned as speaker in 1996 after pleading guilty to a felony tax evasion charge. He served in the House for three decades and as speaker for five years.
"I relished every bit," Flaherty said Monday from the podium, as his successor, House Speaker Thomas Finneran, sat behind him. "I'll always be grateful for that opportunity to influence so many things in such a positive way."
The low-key ceremony was held on Columbus Day, a state holiday, when few people were in the Statehouse. Finneran's office did not notify the press or public that it was taking place.
During his speech to about hundred friends and family members, Flaherty said he wanted the event to be low-key.
In attendance were an array of luminaries from Massachusetts' past, including former Senate President and University of Massachusetts President William Bulger and former state Treasurer Robert Crane.
Red Sox = Kelsey's Nuts
worldwidewords.org solves a mystery:
“Where does the expression deader than Kelsey’s nuts come from and what does it mean?”
I’m told it’s an expression that former US President Richard Nixon was rather fond of using. Like other Americans before and since, he meant by it that something was unquestionably and permanently defunct. You might hear somebody say “The battery’s deader than Kelsey’s nuts”, or “His chances of surviving the election are deader than Kelsey’s nuts”.
That takes care of the meaning, but who or what was Kelsey and what was so special about those nuts? He turns out to have been a real person, John Kelsey, one of the pioneers of car manufacture in the USA. With the encouragement of Henry Ford, he set up the Kelsey Wheel Company in 1910. By 1913 this was based in Windsor, Ontario, just across the river from Detroit. To start with, he manufactured the wooden wheels that were then state of the art, but later moved into making wire-spoke wheels and later steel wheels. As Kelsey-Hayes Canada Ltd, the company still exists.
The saying refers to the proverbially secure attachment provided by the nuts and bolts on the wheels that Kelsey’s company made. In the view of the public, nothing could be fixed more tightly. And the obvious anatomical innuendoes in those nuts made the saying just a little naughty. Though some examples are recorded from the 1930s, the phrase began to become more widely known in the 1950s. Early on, it appeared as “tighter than Kelsey’s nuts” to mean a person who was stingy or mean, and is also recorded in the form “as safe as Kelsey’s nuts”, meaning very safe.
By the early 1960s, it had evolved away from these fairly obvious formations to the imaginative and metaphorical phrase still used today. It would appear to have been a close parallel to—perhaps borrowed from—the much older as dead as a doornail.
“Where does the expression deader than Kelsey’s nuts come from and what does it mean?”
I’m told it’s an expression that former US President Richard Nixon was rather fond of using. Like other Americans before and since, he meant by it that something was unquestionably and permanently defunct. You might hear somebody say “The battery’s deader than Kelsey’s nuts”, or “His chances of surviving the election are deader than Kelsey’s nuts”.
That takes care of the meaning, but who or what was Kelsey and what was so special about those nuts? He turns out to have been a real person, John Kelsey, one of the pioneers of car manufacture in the USA. With the encouragement of Henry Ford, he set up the Kelsey Wheel Company in 1910. By 1913 this was based in Windsor, Ontario, just across the river from Detroit. To start with, he manufactured the wooden wheels that were then state of the art, but later moved into making wire-spoke wheels and later steel wheels. As Kelsey-Hayes Canada Ltd, the company still exists.
The saying refers to the proverbially secure attachment provided by the nuts and bolts on the wheels that Kelsey’s company made. In the view of the public, nothing could be fixed more tightly. And the obvious anatomical innuendoes in those nuts made the saying just a little naughty. Though some examples are recorded from the 1930s, the phrase began to become more widely known in the 1950s. Early on, it appeared as “tighter than Kelsey’s nuts” to mean a person who was stingy or mean, and is also recorded in the form “as safe as Kelsey’s nuts”, meaning very safe.
By the early 1960s, it had evolved away from these fairly obvious formations to the imaginative and metaphorical phrase still used today. It would appear to have been a close parallel to—perhaps borrowed from—the much older as dead as a doornail.
Fat Tuesday
David Wells and his numerous chins best the Sox 4-2.
Playaz
Trot Nixon is... a baseball player. Dan Klecko is... a football player.
OK, maybe you're looking for more enlightening commentary than that. But listen to sports radio lately and you'll hear those two usages more and more frequently.
In Trot's case, what the commentators seem to mean is: "Trot's not a great athlete, he's not a pure hitter, he's not a great fielder, he's just an overall player." In Klecko's case, the designation seems to have to do with his versatility: plays defensive line, linebacker, short-yardage fullback, etc.
The term also seems to hint at a general approval of a player's professionalism and work ethic, echoing the strongest blessing of the New York Giants' bleacher bums in Fred Exley's "A Fan's Notes": "Dat guy is a pro."
The term seems ill-suited to today's NBA, of course. Larry Bird, who could grab 16 rebounds on an off-shooting night to help his team win, was a basketball player. Is there a basketball player on this year's Celtics?
Eric Williams might come close. Too bad his lack of a true scorer's mentality or skills will relegate him to the bench if Jumaine Jones shows anything.
OK, maybe you're looking for more enlightening commentary than that. But listen to sports radio lately and you'll hear those two usages more and more frequently.
In Trot's case, what the commentators seem to mean is: "Trot's not a great athlete, he's not a pure hitter, he's not a great fielder, he's just an overall player." In Klecko's case, the designation seems to have to do with his versatility: plays defensive line, linebacker, short-yardage fullback, etc.
The term also seems to hint at a general approval of a player's professionalism and work ethic, echoing the strongest blessing of the New York Giants' bleacher bums in Fred Exley's "A Fan's Notes": "Dat guy is a pro."
The term seems ill-suited to today's NBA, of course. Larry Bird, who could grab 16 rebounds on an off-shooting night to help his team win, was a basketball player. Is there a basketball player on this year's Celtics?
Eric Williams might come close. Too bad his lack of a true scorer's mentality or skills will relegate him to the bench if Jumaine Jones shows anything.
Monday, October 13, 2003
Nomie Pop-up
If Nomar were any more overdue in this series, they'd have to perform a C-section.
The Clear Alternative
By this point you may be wondering how I came up with the name "The Uncommonwealth" for this site. The real story is fascinating. About a year ago our esteemed Massachusetts Office of Travel and Tourism (2004 budget: $6M, enabling legislation: "The Office of Travel & Tourism shall serve as the principal agency for promoting the recreational, cultural, historic and scenic resources of the Commonwealth to increase its desirability as a location for tourism, convention, travel, and recreation-related activities by providing informational, marketing and technical assistance to public and private nonprofit entities organized for similar purposes.") decided to sponsor a statewide contest to pick a new slogan to promote tourism in Massachusetts. Thousands of Bay Staters, myself included, screwed on our thinking caps and began kicking around possible successors to "Make It in Massachusetts," etc. After rejecting several lesser alternatives, I settled upon "The Uncommonwealth." This had an Wilde-esque inverted wit to it, and it neatly echoed the "Un-Cola" slogan that 7-Up smacked Coca-Cola around with in the '70s. The only downside: people in other parts of the country might be unfamiliar with the term "Commonwealth," which is affixed to only four states. But what the hell, I thought it had a ring.
Months passed without a word from MOTT. A call to their flak produced the perky reply that the MOTT brain-trust was still mulling the entries, with a winner expected in "a few weeks."
Then dropped the hammer: MOTT was rejecting all of the thousands of home-grown entries and selecting the profoundly uninspired "Massachusetts... Make It Yours," as thought up by those un-bright lights at MOTT's own $300,000 ad firm, CGN Marketing and Creative Services.
So... MOTT's loss is this blog's gain. Welcome to The Uncommonwealth, baby!!
Months passed without a word from MOTT. A call to their flak produced the perky reply that the MOTT brain-trust was still mulling the entries, with a winner expected in "a few weeks."
Then dropped the hammer: MOTT was rejecting all of the thousands of home-grown entries and selecting the profoundly uninspired "Massachusetts... Make It Yours," as thought up by those un-bright lights at MOTT's own $300,000 ad firm, CGN Marketing and Creative Services.
So... MOTT's loss is this blog's gain. Welcome to The Uncommonwealth, baby!!
Well, wasn't that easy. When I first read about the growing popularity of "blogging," initially I was hostile. For one thing, there was the unfortunate abbreviation, "blog," which called to mind Jerry Seinfeld's line about the Worcester Aud: "Is there so much going on here in Worcester you folks don't have time to say the word `auditorium'?"
The other misgiving stemmed from the presumptuous conceit that total strangers would care what I have to say. Every day I send dozens of e-mails and links to co-workers and friends, all filled with cogent, perceptive, acerbic and downright HI-larious insights. It would, I decided, be unfair to deny these bon mots to a wider audience. In fact, I owed it to them. And so, my good friends, tonight begins a new chapter in the history of, er, "blogging."
Krusty appears on-screen, dressed up for the occasion, against a dark
background, only lit by a dim spotlight.
Krusty: Once in a great while, we are privileged to experience a
television event so extraordinary, it becomes part of our shared
heritage.
[picture of astronaut on the moon, against American flag]
1969: Man walks on the moon.
[picture of astronaut about to swing on the moon]
1971: Man walks on the moon... again.
[pictures stop]
Then, for a long time, nothing happened. Until tonight.
The other misgiving stemmed from the presumptuous conceit that total strangers would care what I have to say. Every day I send dozens of e-mails and links to co-workers and friends, all filled with cogent, perceptive, acerbic and downright HI-larious insights. It would, I decided, be unfair to deny these bon mots to a wider audience. In fact, I owed it to them. And so, my good friends, tonight begins a new chapter in the history of, er, "blogging."
Krusty appears on-screen, dressed up for the occasion, against a dark
background, only lit by a dim spotlight.
Krusty: Once in a great while, we are privileged to experience a
television event so extraordinary, it becomes part of our shared
heritage.
[picture of astronaut on the moon, against American flag]
1969: Man walks on the moon.
[picture of astronaut about to swing on the moon]
1971: Man walks on the moon... again.
[pictures stop]
Then, for a long time, nothing happened. Until tonight.
